"Growing up in a particular neighborhood, growing up in a working-class family, not having much money, all of those things fire you and can give you an edge, can give you an anger." - Gary Oldman
For the past two weeks I have been working on an assignment for my Diversity, Justice, and Inclusion course in graduate school. Using questions about class background from a worksheet written by Paul Kivel, we were to explore our class background and how it has shaped the people we are now and how we make our decisions and interact with others. I am very much from a working class (at times borderline working poor) family and it was especially emotional to revisit my past and drudge up stuff that I would have rather left there. To discuss it openly was even more emotional and stressful, but not without some great insight that hopefully I can use to progress toward more sustainable living.
When I was younger we didn't have a lot of food, though my parents often skipped meals so we could eat three meals a day. We didn't have a lot of variety or eat much beyond processed or canned foods. We ate lots of pasta, Ramen, sandwiches, bones-in chicken and pork, canned tuna, canned vegetables, and so much potatoes. Breakfast was almost always cereal or toast.
In the process of writing about my class background and our food choices, it really sank in that the lack of variety, a life of not quite enough food for everyone in the family, and very little in the way of luxury foods or eating out shaped how I treat food and dining now, including my overconsumption and desire to eat out as much as I can. This isn't something I never realized before. I just don't think it truly sank in and impacted me the way it has this time.
So there's the big elephant in the room, as it were. In striving to control my portions and change my eating habits to healthy, sustainable choices, I need to remind myself that when I choose to eat too much I'm trying to overcompensate and hoard as a reaction. I need to remind myself that eating out frequently is not sustainable and is a reaction to making up for lost time. I need to remind myself when I begin to choose based on quantity and luxury that I need to consider the choice I'm making and instead focus on quality and necessity.
Once again, much like working toward a more collaborative way of thinking and working, I need to recognize when I'm making poor choices, disable those poor decisions before they are made, and shift my thinking toward making better choices until those better choices become more automatic than the poor choices. This is going to take a lot of hard work, but it isn't impossible and is in fact necessary for me to live a more sustainable life.
